Latch'n'Knit

Oh yes, I am not known for posting recipes - at all. The cooking/baking awesome-gene seem to have skipped me, and landed all around me.

HOWEVER, I have succeeded (with a big of guidence from the interwebs) in attempting - and perfecting - a smoothie recipe ... ON MY FIRST TRY.



It's called ... well, not sure what to call it. ORANGE STRAWBERRY AWESOMENESS is what it is ... but that's not really a catchy name. Let's just call it TASTY. Or, for those inclined to title things, "Strawberry Delight".

Recipe:
-- 12 oz of orange juice (I used 100% OJ from a bottle, but freshly squeezed would be just as wonderful)
-- 8-10 strawberries of medium size (obviously, this would be to your preference) - I cut them in half for quicker mixing
-- 2 scoops of frozen yogurt (I used a vanilla flavour with huge scoops, but I'm heavy handed like that)
-- 3-4 ice cubes

Frappe (or blend, or liquidfy, or insert-mode-of-mixing-word) until smooth.
Enjoy! ^_^

Welcome to 2012!

As I was chatting with S last night, we were talking about 2011 and looking forward to 2012 - you know, during that awkward hour at 11 pm, when the current is clearly over but it's not yet the new year ... and you're in year limbo.

We talked about our favourite memories from the year. I said mine was seeing him in August in NH; he said his was spending time with me in my apartment in May. We talked about our thoughts on the passing year ... and I remarked how unremarkable it felt, considering all that had happened and what was coming up. I mean, 2010 had so many things happening - major, life altering things. 2011, while filled with triumphs, not so many life-altering moments ~ for me, anyways.

We talked about plans and goals for 2012, so I thought I'd list them out here.

2012 Goals

1) This is usually where "lose weight" appears on the list, but it seems so ... typical. I could write tons of different things that all mean the same thing ... but I want to phrase it this way: To make myself healthier - and whatever that entails. I'm thinking of trying yoga, and going more exercise at home. I'm thinking about doing couch to 5k in the spring/summer - and not because I'm scared of freezing, but because I'm scared of slipping on the ice as I walk/run. I want to change my diet and eat better, and while losing weight should be a benefit of this ... I'm more interested in changing my shape, since that's the part of myself I still struggle with.

2) I have some pretty lofty knitting goals this year: 12 pairs of socks in 12 months, 12 hats in 2012 ... all the while keeping up with other projects I wanted to make. Hopefully I can do this and not lose my mind?

3) Speaking of crafting ... this year my goal is to not only learn cross stitching, but complete one kit. If I'm being realistic, this might not be touched until the winter term is done, but I'm excited and looking forward to it.

4) Project 365. I have no idea what I'm going to take pictures of ... but let's see if we can keep it going again this year.

5) Of course, there is 3rd year Crim. While I've accepted that if I don't make it into next year I will have to switch to Sociology, I'm not giving up without a fight.

So these are a few of my goals ... I'm just hoping that 2012 will bring more happy memories and good times.

I love new beginnings.
~ J

I plan on writing a bit more about my thoughts and goals for next year either tomorrow or Sunday, but today I found this extremely cute printable (from Pinterest), and because I don't have access to a printer or scanner, I just filled in my answers on the computer!

I know where my thoughts are going ... I know this is going to be a long week ... I know I just need a place to write this down because I need to say it "out loud" (so to speak) and speaking into the void just never cuts it.

I'm slipping back into a horrible depression. The one where that tiny voice gets very loud and points out all the reasons I'm not "anything enough". The one that points out all the bad, wrong things ... those things that, while I've accepted I deal with and I no longer have to attempt for the perfection I know will never happen ... the little things that bug me. Perhaps because I deal with them in silence, perhaps because I worry about them ...

Either way I feel the sting of tears that won't come. Fears and anxieties that won't find words to be expressed. Insecurities that have never really gone away.

S is on the phone with me, wanting to know what's wrong. How can I put this into words that make sense? So many things that circle around and around ... and, in that moment of truth when someone is listening and I can just get it all off my chest ... I choke, because - above all - I'm tired of being pitied. I wish that talking about it could make me feel better, and I wish that I had the strength to pull myself out ... but as I give myself the space to let this take its course, if only for a few days, I worry that I fall deeper and deeper.

I feel so inadequate.
~ J

It seems I've been bitten by a stupid posting bug ... and even though I have nothing really important to say or discuss, I still feel I need to post. What a frustrating feeling.

On my mind today: psychology. Or, in other words: why I will probably never look at anyone the same way ever again.

While the last few chapters in our textbook have been about the boring history of psychology, we're back to things about people. So far I've looked at memory, consciousness and now learning. So I can tell you exactly what I remember certain things and not others; I can tell you exactly what part of my sleep cycle I've likely woken up from on any given night; and now I can explain why you learn some behaviours and not others.

Unfortunately, the camera doesn't always stay inward, so I'm looking at others and applying the same ideas. Most notably S ... because I don't think there is a person in the world that knows him better than I do. Ever. In the history of ever.

Are you following me yet?

Specifically in our Learning chapter, we spoke of B.F Skinner, who - in a nutshell - proposed different ways of learning things through a "reward" or "punishment" system. And thus we can say that the same principles required to train a dog are the same as raising a child (that thought makes me chuckle as I think of the new "children" in my life).

HOWEVER - that type of learning does not stop. It continues well onto the rest of our lives. And so my concern is, that without realizing it, I've reinforce a negative behaviour as acceptable. Basically, that a behaviour I no longer want to accept in my life will be difficult to unlearn, and it might be because I PREVIOUSLY ACCEPTED IT, AND BECAUSE I ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN MEANT IT WAS LEARNED AND REINFORCED.

Dude.

So I might have to result to extreme measures to have it unlearned? And the behaviour gets worse before it gets better ... every time.

Dude.

So it might not be you, it might be me?

Dude.

I am feeling disillusioned and utterly defeated.
~ J